Monday, March 10, 2008

Sandal Humor

All right ladies, it's that time of year again!!! I think we all need to be reminded of a few things...
So my sisters, PLEASE, raise your big toes and repeat after me below...





The Open Toed Shoe and Sandal Pledge

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow! to kee p the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.
I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally h onest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear... nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

6 comments:

Unknown said...

Seriously Meredith? You can't tell me you are already wearing sandals in Utah!! ROFL I won't be wearing sandals here until about June!! :-D

Meredith said...

I WISH I were wearing sandals. One of my Florida buddies sent this to me... But as soon as it gets above 60, the sandals come out! I can't wait to wear flip flops every day again!

Kathryn said...

This makes me laugh because Matt absolutely hates sandals, so I've pretty much quit wearing them. Which is probably a good thing, because I have the "mounds of skin" problem. Oh, too much information! Sorry!

chrissy said...

HAHAHA! Thanks for the laugh. That pretty much sums up how I feel about the whole 'sandal' thing.

Personally, I wear sandals no matter how cold it is, so long as there's no snow on the ground. So, yup. I've been lovin' my sandals for about a week now! :)

Aleisha said...

Were getting to that stage here. It was finally warm enough, but then we got another cold front. But spring is on its way, cant wait to hit the beach. The Sea is calling me. =o)

Cardalls said...

So funny and yes it is sandal weather here! Guess i need to do something to help out my poor ugly feet! Time for a pedicure!