Hannah with her cousins, Jordyn & Carter
my adorable niece, liv, and her momma!
my adorable little nephew, carter! "what do you want, lady? i have things to do!"
Koda, one of our guard dogs for the weekend! Such a pretty dog!
All the beautiful flowers that Ashlyn & Hannah picked.
Hannah & Ainsley. Ainsley was more interested in the texture of the log bench than in looking at Mommy.
Hannah & her cousin, Carter. He looks so sweet and innocent...
Ainsley in the baby bjorn, ready for our hike! She fell asleep in minutes!
We had been hiking for over an hour when Hannah stopped in the middle of the road and said, "I don't want to hike anymore." Poor kid does NOT feel well at all and we drag her out to hike in the cold rain... Okay, she wanted to go and it wasn't raining, it just looked like it was going to!
this is my favorite view at the cabin
Hannah throwing rocks in the river!
Hannah playing on the teeter totter.
*This email came a few days ago and I kept forgetting to read it. Just pushing it back down into my endless junk email forward pile that I eventually read then pass a few on to others. This could not have come at a better time for me! Just last night as I was sitting on the couch, feeding Ainsley, helping Thomas put together a report for work, trying to listen to Hannah talk to me, and trying my very best not to fall asleep, Thomas looked over at me and asked me to hand him a paper. I just stared at him blankly, like "how the heck do you expect me to do that?". I felt completely invisible, like a non-person. Thankfully, my husband is a very smart man. He realized what he had done and got the paper himself. (Good job, Sweetheart!) Anyway... sentimental, sleep-deprived person that I am, I got a bit teary-eyed when I read this forward. So, before I write the Great American Novel and you get bored....
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?"
Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible.
Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please."
I was certain that these were the hands th! at once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.
She's going - she's going - she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.
I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it.
I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this."
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd gi! ven it to me until I read her inscription: "To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
* No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
* These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
* They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
*The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it."
An d the workman replied, "Because God sees."
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be buil! t in ou r lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table."
That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
check out jake and amber's blog
http://amberandjakes.blogspot.com/
Yes, you are reading that right. It is 5:58 am. We have been up already for quite a while. Although you would probably have to sleep in order to say that you have "woken up". Ainsley slept pretty well last night, only waking up about 4 times between 10pm and 5am. That's pretty good for her. Hannah, on the other hand, was up crying almost all night long. Both kids ended up sleeping with us again because I didn't want them crying and waking everyone up. I don't know what is going on with Hannah, but she is seriously crying almost all night every night now. I know she isn't feeling well, but I don't know what to do. She can't take Robitussin or any of the other cold medicines that you give kids to knock them out. They have the opposite effect on her to the point that she gets shaky and mean(er) and irritable. So, we have to just deal with Ibuprofen Cold. She is at the age where she refuses to take medicine, too. I had to threaten her with the hospital and shots this morning to get her to take it. And poor little Ainsley woke up with a fever this morning. Whether it is from the shots or her cold, I don't know. I have to call the doctor when they open and ask what to do. I gave her some Tylenol, but she hates swallowing things other than milk, so she spit most of it out... all over my sheets. She just rolled herself under the coffee table, so I better get her and feed her and hope and pray that she goes back to sleep so that I can get some sleep. I haven't had a good night's sleep in months and I haven't had an even somewhat respectable night of sleep in WEEKS. I have hardly slept at all the last three nights.
credits:
it's just a cold... thank goodness! AND tissues were on sale at the grocery store! YEA! And the doctor's office gave me a discount for paying today rather than being billed. YEA! Ainsley got 4 shots today. Poor little baby! She is cranky! But the doctor said that Ainsley looks really good. She is in the 95% for her length and 65% for weight. And I LOVE the pediatrician! She is awesome! I better go deal with my cranky kiddos! I feel bad for the little ones!
now they are both sick! yesterday hannah woke up from her nap with a temp of 100.6. she was terribly whiny. so i gave her some motrin and she fell asleep. poor little girl! her temp was down to 99.6 this morning. i gave her some more motrin. i am hoping that the doctor will take a look at her, too. now i will probably get to pay for TWO doctor appointments! yea! i really hope that the kids' state insurance paperwork comes through quickly. i am so frustrated. i really hope that these are just colds that don't require expensive prescriptions. just a box of tissues and some tylenol cold... that would be nice!
credits:thomas switched jobs about a month ago. our health insurance doesn't kick in for another two months. ainsley needs her four month shots, actually she needed them about two or three weeks ago. last night, thomas looked over at ainsley and noticed that she had green goop in her eye. lovely. today her eye looks better, but she is acting like she doesn't feel well. she is a bit congested now, too. so, i spent three hours on the phone and internet this morning trying to find out if i could take her to the health department here for shots and to see a doctor. never could get a straight answer on anything from anyone. so, i finally just scheduled an appointment with a private practice pediatrician here to check her eye and do her shots. It's only going to cost $175 to $200...EEK! But at least I know that the doctor is a good doctor and actually knows what she is talking about. And I have a set appointment time rather than just show up sometime and we will see if we can fit you in. Public healthcare is a nightmare here. no one seems to know the answers to anything. i was really hoping that we could get through the next couple of months without any illnesses. and the first time we have cold weather, my baby gets sick! she needed her shots anyway... okay, i'll stop rambling now. i'm just really frustrated!
this is another old one...
I did this one a couple of weeks ago. The picture is from the week after Ainsley was born!
hannah on her new trike
my girls in their matching church dresses
what a cutie! i love that little smile!
my adorable girls in their unintentionally coordinating outfits! at least until ainsley pooped through hers! we went through four outfits yesterday! maybe the sweet potatoes take a while to get used to!
ainsley eating her sweet potatoes. needless to say, she got a bath after this meal! she's almost as messy as Zoey!
Hannah is feeding her baby!
Hannah & her cousins playing in the dirt in Grandma Shelly's garden
five of the six babies born in the last 10 months on the cardall side of the family. baby #6 lives in switzerland.
Ainsley with Aunt LeslieWe had a good weekend, pretty uneventful though. Friday night, we ran some errands and got Hannah a tricycle from Grandma Ruthie. It was her late birthday present. It was storming really badly when we got home from the store and Hannah was begging to ride her trike. So we just left it in the trunk of the car and told her that we would put it together later. There was no way we were going to put it together Friday night and then listen to her beg to ride it all night. Saturday morning, Thomas had to work for a few hours so the kids and I went to Mary & Chris's house. It was so nice to just sit and relax for a while. Not that I don't sit a lot every day, but they have the most beautiful back yard with fruit trees and rose bushes... heaven for me! And they have a nice covered porch so Mary & I could sit on the porch and talk while the kids played in the hot sun! Hannah had so much fun playing with Eyi as she calls him. His real name is Eli. Hannah just cried when we left to come back and play with Eli again soon. So, we'll have to do that again, Mary! After we got home, we watched football pretty much the rest of the day! We made a big run over to our storage unit and got some of the boxes and empty bins out of here. It looks a lot better. But all the clothes from the boxes and bins are on the living room floor, semi-sorted into piles of what they are and then there are the five loads of laundry I did waiting to be folded. Oh, the fun never ends! Then, yesterday was church as usual. I swear, I cannot make it on time! I woke up earlier than usual and everything! Of course, everything I own is either too big or too small for me. I finally find a skirt that fits and of course it has been in the bottom of a box for a month so it has to be ironed. I start ironing, get almost all the way done, and the iron spits rusty water all over the back of the skirt. Well, that's just not good, especially on a white skirt! So, i had to start over completely. And of course that just put me in a really stinky mood. I was so close to just not going yesterday. But I am so glad that I did go. The lessons were really good and they felt like they were given just for me. Plus, the sacrament program was the Primary program. The kids were so cute! I was in the mother's room with the kids so I couldn't actually see it, just hear it. So cute! And I made roast and potatoes for dinner last night. It was supposed to be ready right after church, but because of my late start yesterday, I didn't even put it in the oven until after church. But it turned out really well. I was planning to bake pumpkin bread yesterday, but because I had the roast in the oven, I couldn't. Maybe I'll do it today if I get time. I still have to run out and do some errands. I can always do it tomorrow.
Why is it that even when the girls aren't wearing coordinating outfits they are always dressed similarly? I just looked at the girls and I realized that we are all wearing similar outfits. I am just in jeans and a white t-shirt, Hannah is in a sleeveless denim dress, and Ainsley is wearing a little pink & white tank with denim skirt. The girls looks so cute! Hey Grandma Ruthie!!!! Ainsley needs a new denim skirt. This one is too small. Let me know if you can find one. This one is from Old Navy, and I really like it. And I am not allowed in that store. I find way too much stuff for the girls and Thomas in there.
Well, I am going to go run errands now. Ainsley is fed and quiet, so I better take advantage of it. I took pictures of the girls in their matching dresses yesterday so I'll try to post one later and some of Hannah on her trike.
or the one in color? i think i like the sepia. what do you think?
of course, hannah wanted to climb on the rocks at the park. the only problem is that they were actually in someone's backyard, not at the park. i took a couple of pictures then made her climb down. she loved it, though!
there were tons of really pretty wildflowers up on the hillside at the park today. i was going to have hannah sit and hold ainsley in the middle of these flowers, but there were tons of bees, so i just snapped this one of hannah smelling the flowers. i would love to go back at sunset and get some pictures of the girls there. the light in utah is amazing for pictures!
hannah & ainsley this morning in their coordinating outfits. so cute! thanks grandma ruthie!
my little ainsley! she is getting so big. i need to correct this photo a bit in photoshop.
hannah & kayla. both looking a bit rough! :) they had been playing outside for about 5 hours at this point. they have so much fun together! well, when hannah isn't cranky at least.
hannah blowing big "kimmie" bubbles. kim gave hannah these bubbles when ainsley was born. she loves them and i can't find bubble solution refills anywhere right now. gonna have to use dish soap and food coloring! :)Today has been a pretty good day so far. The girls actually slept until a decent time this morning, which is good, since I was up half the night. Ainsley has been really fussy and her reflux is really bad right now. That usually means we are in the middle of a big growth spurt. Hannah didn't want to sleep in her room last night either. So, all four of us attempted to sleep in our bed again last night. I had Hannah's feet in my back and Ainsley trying to eat all night long... not good for resting. At about 1:30 this morning, I got sick of it! I carried a sleeping Hannah to her room and was finally able to sleep. Then I got up this morning at about 5:30 with Thomas to iron his shirt and then back to sleep for me! I actually couldn't fall asleep for a couple of hours, but it was nice to try! :) Then, we got up and went to playgroup with some of the moms & kids from church. They were so sweet. I really enjoyed it. I liked all of the moms, but there are a few that I think I could really like. One of the moms reminds me so much of my friend, Kimmie, from Florida, that it made me kinda sad. I miss Kimmie! Anyway... after the kids played for a while, I took the girls to Target to get a few groceries for dinner. That is the bad thing about moving, you don't have all the basics... like sour cream. So, we are constantly finding ourselves running to the store to get one or two little things that we always used to have in the house. Last weekend it was garlic. I ALWAYS have fresh garlic in the house. And now I do here! So.... we ran to Target and I only had to threaten Hannah once! :) I even got the ingredients to make Thomas' favorite dinner. Well, most of them. I forgot one of the main parts, but I can always run out tomorrow and get that. It will give us a reason to leave the house. So, I didn't get much done around the house today, but it was nice to spend the day out. I want to take Hannah to the library tomorrow. Maybe we'll wait until Thursday, it is supposed to be almost 90 degrees so it will be too hot to go outside to play. I took cute pictures today of the girls. I''ll try to upload some later.
How do my kids know when I am totally exhausted? I swear they can sense it. And they always wake up at the crack of dawn on those days. The girls were both awake at 5:30 this morning. So, at least they got to see Daddy. Then, Ainsley fell asleep at about 7am and Hannah fell asleep about 7:30. I decided to try to sleep at that point and couldn't fall asleep for a long time, of course. Too much stuff running through my mind. I fell asleep just before both girls woke up. Of course. And I swear that Hannah follows me around making messes as soon as I clean something. I made my bed this morning and Hannah pulled the blankets down again and jumped on it. She is NOT allowed to jump on beds. Then I cleaned up all the toys in the family room. It looks like a tornado hit in here. I don't even want to check Hannah's room. It was clean this morning, too.
So... the weekend... Thomas and I ended up not having our dinner date on Friday. We had both kids with us and they were cranky. So, we decided to just drive through somewhere and eat at home. The kids both fell asleep in the car so at least we had a few minutes to ourselves. Then Saturday we watched football all day. I love football season. We went out Saturday evening with just Ainsley and ran some errands. It seems like that is the only time we have together alone. But at least we are getting something productive done and not spending money that we don't need to spend. We did go for a walk last night with the girls. It was nice to just be outside in the cool air with them. So, now it is Monday afternoon and the week starts over again. My plans are to clean, organize some stuff and get some scrapbooking done. I am soooo far behind that it really isn't even remotely amusing. I have been such a terrible CT member lately. But I did get two really cute layouts done for the RAKScraps newsletter. I can't wait to post them, but you'll have to wait a couple of days. I know, I know, the suspense is killing you!
Okay, so not really. But I got your attention, didn't I?! :) We are actually going to go open a checking account tonight when Thomas gets home and then we are going to go out to dinner. My aunt got us a gift card to one of our favorite restaurants when Ainsley was born and we are just now getting to use it. :) Soooooo..... hopefully the kids will cooperate and behave and we can have an enjoyable meal! Hannah may rebel, though. She hasn't been able to play with Kayla all week and has been talking ALL DAY about how much fun she is going to have with Kayla tonight. But since we are leaving here pretty early, we shouldn't be out too late. My anti-social, anti-crowds husband wants to be home early. Maybe we'll watch a movie tonight or something. We'll see...
credits:
not much to update, but just thought I would post and say good morning! we went to our new church ward yesterday. the people seem really nice. everyone introduced themselves and they even invited me to playgroup and scrapbooking. it was nice to talk to someone other than my kids! hannah LOVES her new nursery teachers. hannah was so excited to ride on the toy horses they have and she even ate CHEESE for snack! that is a huge milestone for her. she has been lactose intolerant for a long time and is finally able to tolerate it.
both kids fell asleep early last night and of course, thomas and i stayed up late watching a stupid movie about a boat that sinks... kind of fuzzy, i was trying not to pay attention because it was so dumb. ainsley fell asleep in her swing and terrible mother that i am, i left her in it so that she would stay asleep! she slept until 4am! yahoo! anyway... i have to go get ready. we are going to go run some errands and get some things from storage and put some other things in storage. the fun never ends!
Sorry that I haven't updated much lately! Things have been crazy around here as usual. It really shouldn't surprise me. Ainsley isn't sleeping much at night unless she is sleeping right there in bed with us. I can't figure out why. I don't know if she is just cold or what, but she never had a problem when we were in Chicago. And Hannah isn't sleeping at night either. She wakes up crying at least once a night. I don't know what the issue is there either. Last night, I was so exhausted from being up all night every night with Ainsley, so Thomas got up with her and got her calmed down and brought her into our room. So, we had all four of us in our bed again for about half the night. I finally got some scrapbooking done yesterday, just a couple of layouts and got a couple of older layouts posted. My memory is totally gone. I had some of these done when we were in Chicago but forgot to post them!
I love my husband! By the time he got home from work yesterday, I was ready to go crazy! I hadn't left the house all day and the kids were CRANKY! So, we left Hannah with G&L and went to dinner. I have been craving Mexican food so we drove up to the next little town and went to Bajio Grille. I've never been there before and Thomas doesn't like that kind of food, but he went anyway and we just sat there and talked for an hour while I ate my burrito (no rice, no cheese!) and we shared a Coke. Our first date in a very long time and I loved it! We're going to have to make that a habit. :) Thomas had to run an errand this morning and I am getting ready to go make him his favorite breakfast so that it will be ready when he gets home and then we are going to watch college football all day! I love fall! We have our niece part of the weekend so Hannah should have someone to play with and we can hopefully have some peace and quiet! :)
That's about all... I'm hoping to get some scrapbooking done today, too. Maybe I'll sneak some in during one of the games, or maybe I'll work on knitting some more of Angie's baby blanket. Yeah... She's almost three weeks old and her blanket is about 1/4 of the way done. Liv's isn't much more done! :) Better get to work.
