Granny is still with us. She hasn't had anything to eat or drink for 8 days now. She is completely unconscious. The nurses keep telling us that she should have died last week, but she is still with us as of right this minute. She is living on borrowed time and could die literally at any minute. We just want her to be at peace and we are doing everything we can to make sure that she is comfortable. Thank you to everyone who has been so helpful and supportive the last month. It has been really difficult for our family, but we are making it okay. I probably won't be online much until this is all over. A very small sacrifice to make in order to spend every possible minute with my granny. :)
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
i need a break. . .
with everything that is going on, i am going to be taking a break for a little while. when things get better here i'll start up again. . . i don't even have time to read comments or even check my email these days. love y'all!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
is it really thursday night????
wow! time has been flying! granny is home now with 24 hour nurse care until tomorrow afternoon. then we are on our own. i'm a little scared about that. i still don't know if we are moving or not. . . we told my brother that we are ready and willing to move into his house and then he said that they were thinking about selling the house. which might be best for them. the guy they are working with isn't calling him back. so, we'll see what happens. i had an ultrasound of my legs today. no blood clots. so, i have another doctor appt tomorrow morning to see if there is anything we can do. i think they just want my $25. argh! so frustrating. i am really far behind. i haven't done any scrapbooking in over a week! i better get working! i made it on another creative team. . . Ginger Thibodeau's team. She is awesome and has some really pretty kits! I can't wait to use her Easter kit. . . I'll try to post some layouts soon. I don't have Hannah's naptime anymore to work because I am helping with Granny or working around the house. . . i need a vacation! :)
Monday, April 17, 2006
today's rambling. . .
okay, today started off well! i woke up having an asthma attack. i had to use my inahler. i've only had to use it 4 or 5 times in the entire last year. i'm okay now. i may have to have a breathing treatment this week. i hate them, they make me so jumpy!
yesterday was a wonderful day! i love easter! on saturday, my granny was not doing well at all. we were afraid she wouldn't make it through the night. after church, we went to the hospice center and granny was doing wonderfully! she looked better than i had seen in months!!! she was happy and peaceful. she said a beautiful prayer while we were all together last night. she asked for her family to be blessed with peace during this time. it was a wonderfully healing day for all of us. today has not been a good day for her so far. she is confused and having a hard time. mom is trying to find out if she can bring granny home or not. granny says that she wants to come home. she actually held hannah yesterday. she hasn't held hannah since she was two months old. she has always been in too much pain, but she was able to do it yesterday. we are all worried that she is going to go quickly now because she saw 4 of her 6 kids this weekend and she really wanted to see my cousin, iris, and my other cousin, michael. iris flew in for the weekend and michael got here last night. he is up there right now. we are all going up there this evening to have family home evening with her. i can't believe how much i miss her already. i am so glad that i was able to spend time with her yesterday. it was like she was 10 years ago. yesterday was definitely an answer to many prayers.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Hannah went peepee in the potty
my mom was sitting in my room talking to me and she told Hannah that Dora didn't wear diapers and that she went peepee in the potty. so, a few minutes later, hannah said that she had to go potty. we went in the bathroom and i put her on the toilet. she got stage fright, so I started tickling her and trying to make her laugh. Then, she started peeing and got this look of shock on her face! I started clapping and I almost started crying. my little baby is so grown up, it just makes me sad! anyway, here is a photo right after the potty episode!
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Hoppy Easter. . . almost!
This is the card I am sending out to family this year for Easter. My printer stinks, though, so it doesn't look as great printed as it does on the screen. I am also making cute little bags for the nieces and nephews. . . Is everyone getting together this year, Chrissy? Should I just send everything to one house? let me know. . .
My Layout was Spotlighted!!!
Wow! I am really excited about all of the "publicity" I have been getting lately! Today, I was spotlighted on Ginger's RU Square? Blog. Ginger is such a sweetheart! I needed the ego boost today, it's been a tough week!
My granny is still in the hospice center. We don't know if or when she will come out. We have family coming in town starting tomorrow. The doctor at hospice advised that anyone who wants to see her come soon. She has very little oxygen moving through one of her lungs and the other is also impaired. Last night, Hannah & I went with my parents and Shelby to the center to visit. It is a nice center, but the smell is just horrible. It actually smells like death. I hate hospitals, but at least there you have a hope that the people inside may get better. In a hospice center, you know that everyone there is going to die. They have stopped all medical treatments. There is no hope. My granny was really agitated last night. She kept getting frustrated with Hannah because she was so loud. She said, "I forgot how loud that child is!". I am trying really hard not to be hurt about it, but it really hurt my feelings that I drove all the way out there and she was just frustrated by it. So, my dad took Hannah and Shelby out to feed the ducks in the pond while I spent a few minutes with her. Thomas and I are going to go back tomorrow for a few minutes. It is a 30 to 45 minute drive. Oh well! I would feel guilty if I didn't go. It is worth it.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
update. . .
ugh! today is turning into the day from you-know-where! i put hannah down about half an hour ago and she is still screaming her head off. if she doesn't take an evening nap, she falls asleep around 8pm and then wakes up at midnight and is up for HOURS!
is it bad that i dread saturday nights because they turn into sundays? i hate sundays. i hate going to church. i don't hate church, i just hate going because i spend 2 hours of my time babysitting other people's terrible kids. i have one of my own, thanks! i don't need 65 more. we have several kids with behavior problems and parents who just can't admit that their kids aren't perfect. i wish they would all move out. instead, most of the families with good kids are leaving and more bad kids are moving in. we have a new family coming tomorrow with 4 kids and the oldest is severely ADHD and more. he can't even handle being in the primary room during singing time because he says it's too much for him. you know my philosophy. . . take them to their parents. it's not my problem!
well, my granny is now in Hospice care. My mom signed her over this morning. That basically means that there is nothing else that can be done for her. She will no longer have any medical treatments. Hospice is just end-of-life care. It is all about making the patient comfortable until they die. She was moved to a hospice care facility this afternoon until they can come and make the house ready for her. My uncle came down today and saw her and said she looks awful. I haven't seen her in a week because Hannah has a runny nose. I am almost afraid to go see her. I talked to her on the phone today and she was so confused. She called for directions to the church so that she could leave them for one of the nurses. There are literally 5 turns to make to get to the church and 3 of them are to leave the neighborhood and 1 of them is to turn into the parking lot. she couldn't even remember our address. she couldn't remember which street was which. that poor nurse will never find the church. oh well, we'll see what happens. . .
this is the layout that was picked for the Digi Pick of the Day by Melissa Goerke. I used the "Spring ThingZ" kit by DigiScrapZ available at Scrapdish. The font is SBC Preschool from the Scrapbook Answers Magazine CD. Layout was created using Photoshop 7.0.
Image Copyrighted by Meredith Cardall, 2006
Digi Pick of the Day. . . YEAH!
I was picked for the Digi Pick of the Day today (4/8)!!! I am so honored!
Check it out. . .
http://melissag.typepad.com/digi_pick_of_the_day/
Thursday, April 06, 2006
daddy's day off. . .
why is it that when it is daddy's day off from work, mommy has to work harder? thomas is playing his computer game right now and i am baking a cheesecake for his dessert. can i eat any of it? NO! and neither can hannah. . . at least i got him out of the house for a little bit, even though it was just to wal-mart for groceries. i hope the cheesecake is good. i don't have my recipe with me, so i had to use some new one. oh well, if it isn't good, maybe he won't ask me to make another one for him! :)
so, the update on granny. . . the cancer has spread to the tissues surrounding the lung and it was in the fluid in the sac around her lung. there isn't a chemotherapy that is very effective at treating this and it probably would be too difficult for her anyway. there isn't really anything they can do. she has had cancer for six years. she has been fighting this every day for six long years. i am amazed by her strength and her resilience. she has managed to stay mostly upbeat about all the changes and demands this disease has placed upon her body. i have a feeling that the next few months are going to be very difficult. there are a lot of things that she wants to do with her remaining time and i am sure that there will be a lot of visitors in and out of the house. this may mean that we have to put off our trip to utah for a month or so. maybe we would be better to come out at the beginning of august right before hannah's birthday. we'll see how things go.
other than that. . . there isn't a ton going on right now. we are still living at my parents' house and will likely be here another several months. i don't want to leave my mom alone right now, although hannah may be too much for my granny to deal with. i guess we will just have to see what happens. i am going to start looking around for an apartment should the need arise. wish me luck!
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Crazy busy, but still alive. . .sort of!
If you saw what I look like right now, you might not believe I am still alive. . . to be quite frank, I look like death! My allergies are sooo bad right now that I have HUGE black circles under my eyes that go to the middle of my cheekbones. Ugh!
I went to the doctor this morning because I was totally convinced that I have a blood clot in the back of my left leg. My legs constantly feel like they are being squeezed and then there is a popping sensation and it's fine for a little while. I have to sleep with my legs elevated because they hurt so bad! However, my doctor just thinks my potassium levels are low. I have to go have bloodwork done on Thursday morning so that Thomas can watch Hannah. If my bloodwork comes back okay and I am still having pain in a couple of weeks, I have to go back in for more tests. The expensive ones like ultrasounds and CT scans. . . AND, I thought I had fungal warts on my hands. I have like 20 little bumps on my hands and they itch like crazy. I had something similar a few years ago when I was working with photo chemicals all the time. The chemicals killed all the "good" bacteria on my hands and so the bad fungal ones took over. I just had to put an anti-fungal cream on them and I was fine after a couple of weeks. So, about a month ago, when I was cleaning that house for my brother, I started getting those bumps again. I figured it was from the cleaning chemicals. So I started using the cream again, but it didn't work. The doctor said that it is actually a form of eczema. So I have to go get a prescription filled for that. I really hope that my doctor is right. I have never had him be wrong so far. He probably thinks I am a hypochondriac. the last time i saw him i thought i had a broken toe. . . nope, just swollen joints from being pregnant! the time before that, thomas thought I was depressed so he made me go to the doctor. . . nope, just pregnant! :) that turned out to be hannah! so glad that wasn't the diagnosis this time! :)
So, my granny is back in the hospital again. They think she may have cancer in the linings around her lungs. They had to drain a quart of fluid from the sac around her lung. She is having all kinds of problems. It may even be in the tissue around her kidneys. It isn't looking too good. The doctor won't give us a time frame. . . she could live 6 weeks or 6 years. She really wants a feeding tube, but the doctor doesn't want to give her one because of the possible complications. But we should have her test results by Thursday night. My parents were supposed to go to Hawaii this weekend, but they cancelled their trip in case anything happens and so that my mom can be at the hospital with her mom. I'll keep you posted!
I haven't even had time to digiscrap lately. I'm going to go right now! I'll post a couple of photos of Hannah that I took today, probably later on tonight. I got her a helmet last night to wear when she rides her "bike". She wears it everywhere. She started sweating in it today, so it may not come back in the house after today. She looks so "special" in it! :)
Saturday, April 01, 2006
4,058 to go. . .
i just counted the number of photos that i still have to scrap just since hannah's birth. . . 4, 058! anybody want some photos to scrap?
120 down. . . thousands to go
I am desperately trying to get caught up in my scrapbooking. . . I scrapped over 120 photos yesterday. I created about 8 layouts so you can imagine how many photos are on each layout! I can't bear to part with any of my photos, so here is my new scrapbooking philosophy. I tend to take a LOT of photos at one time. Like 20 to 30 of a park outing. So, I will pick my favorite photos and do a 1 or 2 page spread and then I will do a photo collage out of the rest of them. I am going to use the same digital kit for the collage pages so that there is some kind of continuity. I just don't know what else to do. I know a lot of people who have their scrapbooks and their photo albums separate, but I just don't want to do that. I want everything in one place. Any ideas???
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